Birthday Alarm

Holidays

New Year's Day (Wed 01-Jan-14)

Holidays

Sort by:Most Popular

  • Most Popular

  • Recently Added

transcript: Voice: The following is presented by The Council on New Years. One of the most important activities of the holiday season, is making New Years resolutions. Why start the new year, unburdened, unhappy, when trying to stick to a harsh new years resolution is much more rewarding. If you have not made your new years resolutions yet, we offer the following resolutions, for you to choose from: -I will not eat brussel sprouts for a month -I will not take up the accordion and join a poker band -I will spend much more time at the computer, playing 'solitaire' -from now on i will clean my house, at least once every six months. -I will take a voluntary pay cut, because I adore the company I work for, doesn't everybody? -This year I will take surfing lessons, and start using the word 'dude' in every sentence. -I will cut back on my coffee drinking, to a more reasonable 3 pots a day. There you have it, tough but rewarding new years resolutions that will change your life forever, or at least for 3 weeks til you give up. Text: This is been a presentation of The Council on New Years. Happy New Year!

New Year's Resolutions

transcript: Voice: The trouble with people like you is that you have too many bad habits. Now, there's a new year coming up, and I want you to make some changes. It's time to start making some resolutions, and you can start with some of these: Stop talking too loud, I'm not deaf. no more kicking the cuddly puppy dogs. You can't go eating candy off the ground. There'll be no more teasing the hippos at the zoo. Don't pretend to be a space alien. I don't want to see you pulling the legs of a spider or eating glue, or... Hey Mr Prattle, I think you forgot your broom! Oh alright...I'll teach em some manners... Don't listen to Mr Prattle, making too many new year's resolutions is silly. We like you just the way you are, right guys? ten,nine,eight,seven,six,five,four,three,two,one...... Text: Happy New Years!!!

Mr. Prattle's Resolutions

transcript: Voice: Sooo...you got any New Year's resolutions? Yeah, i'm gonna try to drop like 5 pounds... I'm gonna try and drop 6 pounds... Oh did I say 5? I meant 10! Ohhh....did I say 6? I meant run a marathon. oh a marathon?? triathalon! Olympics! Gold medal! Astronaut! 'President astronaut' Your resolutions don't even make any sense, there's not such a thing as a President astronaut! You're just trying to buck my...... Hold it. My resolutions could be so much better than yours...oh I'm gonna get so much more voters ,president astronaut.... HAPPY NEW YEAR! Well, i guess we better get started on our resolutions... Yep, not time like the present. Wanna just order a pizza? Yes, ok, good, better make it 2, i'm starving! Maybe i'll order 3 pizzas! 4 pizzas! 5 meatloaves! Text: HAPPY NEW YEAR Keep those resolutions reasonable! Great! AWESOME

George The Dog - New Years

transcript: Voice: Am I under arrest??? -No Mam', im from the new year's resolutions squad. New year's resolutions squad? -yes mam, we periodically check up on citizens to see if they've kept their new years resolutions... Well I always keep my new years resolutions. What was that?? -Your seat cushion is hooked up to a lie detector.. Now on the last years resolutions... you were going to pay off your credit cards,..? and they're almost totally payed off well...half way payed off Ok...i don't owe much more than last year -Uhu... -And you were going to join a gym.. I did, I went there religiously Occasionaly... Once or twice..... -Yes Mam, were there any other resolutions? Well, I really stuck to my diet! -It's the fourth time that's happened this year.... Text: It's not like anyone's actually keeping track of them! Have a happy New Year!

New Year's Resolution Squad

transcript: Top three New Year's resolution cliches! #3...Eat less! #2...Exercise! #1...Quit smoking! No matter what your resolutions...... Have a fabulous New Year! Happy New Year!

New Year's Resolutions

transcript: Voice: Happy New Years! We hope your new year is a prosperous and happy one. and a suggestion for a new years resolution Maybe don't party so hard, since you actually think a champagne glass and a party hat, are talking to you... Happy New Years!

Happy New Year's

transcript: Voice: That didn't go quite as well as I expected! I'm sure you did the best you could! Well, thank you. Things do seem to be looking up for you though! Really? You think so?! Oh Yeah! Hey, it's starting. Yip, it's the big debut! Where're you heading? Ouu! Probably out to Vegas for a week or two. Go easy on the Mojitos. You know me too well! Good luck to you. Good luck to you! and...Happy New year! Text: Have a fantastic Happy New Year.

Happy New Deer!

transcript: In preparation for any parties for the coming new year, all party agents are advised to have the following accessories Actually, you can forget about the last two items... Happy New Year

New Years Party Agents

transcript: Song: I need a Bailout...In no uncertain terms... I need a Bailout...Like a cold needs germs! Everything I cherish, and hold near and dear mady go the way of the dodo bird In the coming new year. I need a Bailout...! Please don't show me the door! I need a Bailout...! I was rich, now I'm poor! They say it's a recession, so I'm joining the procession, to the promised land, without stress and the senate, like a committee floor! Can you spare a billion, brother? Just to tide me over! What do you say? Text: May this New Year bring us all a Bailout!

New Year Bailout