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The things no one warns you about motherhood

March 25, 2014

Folding kid and baby clothes is torture. Do not underestimate the power of the cute onsies and the tiny floral blooms on that romper. Folding baby clothes takes much, much longer than usual laundry does. The fact that you duck and smell that awesome baby smell on every couple of those outfits does not help. Something you love will be ruined/broken/destroyed. Favourite stuffed animal? Grand mum’s vase? High school collectible? That fridge magnet you picked up on your first solo trip? It’s hard to be Zen-like when stuff you love gets ruined. Our solution? Hide, hide, and hide. Nothing will embarrass you. Nothing. Not even crazy Christmassy sweaters. It begins in the labour room when you’re naked in front of half a dozen strangers. Then comes that time when you actually breastfeed without worrying about who’s staring at the gargantuan boobs that have taken over your chest. You’ve changed diapers and soiled clothes in the grimiest of changing rooms. You’ve half an hour of alone time at the mall, who the hell cares about door-less changing rooms?! You will become your parents. Yes, you will. And no, no resolutions will help. You’ll be saying “That’s it, I’m pulling over,” and “When I was your age...” in no time. The good thing is you’ll see your folks in a different, perhaps kinder light. Some days you will wish you never had kids. Even if you’ve planned on being a mum forever, or just absolutely adore kids, you will have quite a few of these moments. Days when you’ll want your carefree pre-kid days back. When you could just waltz in and nap for as long as you wanted. Or make-out with the husband without keeping one eye on the sleeping child. Have you experienced any (or all) of these moments? Do you have a few 'realisations' to add to this list? Leave a comment!

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